I'm two days late on our three month blog. Please forgive me for the fact that nursing school has taken over my life. Just a few more weeks and things will start to slow down. I hope. So let's just jump right in...this has been a rough morning and I need to get to studying. Jax is now 3 months old! I don't know his exact weight but we weighed him on our home scale twice the other day and got 12lbs 2 oz and 14 lbs 4 oz. Either way he's a growing boy. We're officially in size 2 diapers although sometimes we find a left over size one and it seems to hold for a round. He fully fits into 3-6 month clothes and can sometimes squeeze into just a 3 month outfit... depends on the material. We're still eating about 6-8 times a day, and staying strong with the nursing. Half way to my short term goal, a quarter of the way to my long term. He prefers to sit up and really seems to like his bumbo. He still sleeps in our room in the bassinet. I don't know when we'll change to his crib in his room but I'm thinking somewhere between 4-6 months. He is still such the talker... he knows how to make some screeches, and some giggle sounds which we find absolutely adorable. He's starting to reach for toys on his mobile and absolutely loves to kick and "dance" if you hold him up right. He's such a happy baby and loves to smile and talk. Quiet time is rare around here lately :). Jax has made it to his first volleyball game, and his first high school football game now. He hates tummy time, and it seems like he's getting really eager to start trying foods. If I hold him while I eat he sticks his little tongue out like he's going to snatch up something before I eat it. I'm really ready to start trying cereals and things next month! While talking about Jax seems to be second nature to me (I feel like he's 99% of what I talk about all day) something that isn't so natural to me is talking about motherhood. Yes I absolutely adore motherhood, this is what I was born to do.... raise babies. I absolutely cannot express the joy and the pride being a mommy brings me, but with that being said...mommyhood is not for the faint at heart.
If you know me, you know I am tenderhearted and get my feelings hurt terribly easily. Mommyhood hasn't changed that at all for me. It seems like when you bring a child into this world, despite the fact that you've been caring for it for 10 months on your own, you are completely unfit to raise it without everyone else's opinions and judgement. From being called a "human's rights violator" because of circumcision or being "ignorant and causing unnecessary harm" by having your child vaccinated, being a mother isn't always the easiest feat. People seem to constantly attack you for every choice you make... be it breastfeeding because of your diet, or not making your child wear shoes before the age of one, or co-sleeping or what you teach your children, how often you need mommy or mommy and daddy time, whether you practice the cry it out method or not, why you do the things you do, when to have other children, etc it is all about what people are going to think about you. It's a jungle out there. I hate the feeling of people even for one minute judging me for what I think is the best for my baby. I know a lot of mother's have to feel this way, but then you have other mother's who judge you too! It's a scary place. I make all of my decisions based on how to care for Jaxon based on scientific research and what Jay and I feel is the right thing to do. Granted, I know there is no way that I will always make the right decision and never make a mistake (which is a hard pill to swallow because we all want whats best for our children) but I do think that I am making the best decisions I can for our family. I guess in all reality it first came when we found out we were pregnant. People started throwing their opinions in right then and there.... but I guess I feel the need to defend it more now because being a parent brought me a whole new sense of independence. Sure I'm curious to other people's opinions, but don't attack mine, and don't tell me what you know what is best for my child when you've never even spent a single second in his presence. The old cliche "Mother knows best" has prevailed without any discussion. Mother's are tuned in with nature to make decisions for their babies. I do appreciate those people who are able to share their wisdom with me without making me feel like inadequate parent. I treasure those tidbits of information that Rant Over....
After having Jaxon I felt like I had a new lease on life. I wanted to repair broken relationships, strengthen present ones, and lay the foundation for lasting ones. I know that over the years I have drifted from several people I once held dear. I truly believe God puts and removes people in your life for a reason and since Jax I have come to realize who will truly cherish his life for what it is. We have been very blessed with a handful of special friends who have fallen in love with our sweet boy and are going to be wonderful supporters of him as he grows and changes. Those types of relationships were some of the most meaningful in my life growing up...my parents friends who were there for me through anything my family faced. I am so happy to know that Jax will have a few of those himself. I know he will forever hold dear those people who have helped us celebrate his life, who have prayed for him, loved him, and have made his life a little more special. You will never know the love I have for people who have been a part of this sweet boys already wondrous life. Being parents isn't always easy, and even though I don't feel like I need everyone else's over bearing opinion, it does take a village to raise a child. A loving village. To those who have been a part of our village, words cannot express how much we love and appreciate you. Our families and those select friends are the reason I can attempt to give Jaxon ever bit of love he deserves. Thank you for being there for us and for helping us realize that we don't have to be perfect parents.
Until next time... Peace Love and Support
